He's the only one to fart in a jar

How utterly and totally bizarre

his pin point accuracy was second to none

I guess he was a bit of hero in a way

'cause he was saving the world

from global warming, they say

He use to like his farts in a jar

He'd wrestle that lid till it was on

No farts ever got otta that jar

One day he freed those farts in a jar

to a school boy who called him names

He gift wrapped that jar full of farts

The boy who called him names from afar

was overwhelmed by this gift that felt like a jar

The boy apologised for being a lark

But the boy didn't know what was in this gifted jar

if he did, he would have thrown it across the park

The boy now gently unwrapped this jar

The boy took a deep breathe and smiled

at his new friend who stood back a mile

Pop! went the jar lid and the boy nearly died

The boy's feet were now unsteady and his

head was now dizzy after catching a wiff

of 6 months worth of farts stored in his jar

This boy was so angry, he said from afar:

"I'll have ya, I'll go the big biff!"

But all the boy could do was sniff and itch

The boy's nostrils were now burning

as he cried out: "Don't light that match!"

or you'll fire me off in a blink and a crash!"

Steve Goldsmith © Copyright 2010