Sydney Poetry

A social site for poets in Sydney.

THE LAST TIME YOU KNOCKED ME AROUND

THE LAST TIME YOU KNOCKED ME AROUND ©JewelRainbow2009

The last time you knocked me around I knew it was the last time

I kept quiet and didn’t cry as I felt those once-warm embers die

On the end of your punch, as I heard its bruising crunch

As I fell to the floor, as you slammed me into the door as I ran

Did you feel like a real man? Like Ali as you hit me?

And now you want me to forget and try to understand it wasn’t what you planned

Yet there’s no point in trying to talk me into taking you back again this time

Because the last time you knocked me around was the last time.

The last time you knocked me around, you cruelly wrenched my shoulder

But my strength and sense has returned unquenched so now I’m that much older

Than when we first met when I was green and wet and you were keen

And full of regret for the cost of what you’d lost, and it made you mean

And the intense rush of love’s first flush, and my youth, made me foolishly distrust

The soft voice of my qualms and instead happily jump into your open arms

And soon succumb to your lust and charms, but no longer

Because the last time you knocked me around, I felt stronger

inside than I have in quite a while, and that makes me smile again

And it made me decide to give up on the lie and finally face the truth:

I’ve had enough and you’re way too rough and uncouth to be my man

So understand why I’m no longer going to stand for your violence in silence

Because the last time you knocked me around was the last time.

The last time you knocked me around I knew I finally had to end it

I felt scared and sore, but I also felt my spirit soar and say “No more!”

Because I knew right there and then that if you ever hurt me again

I would avenge my fear and tears and the bruises on my heart from your coldness

Now I just feel the loss of the years that I stayed and prayed that you’d change

And the cost of time wasted as I lived in danger, too scared to try to run

And trying too hard to love the hard-hearted stranger you’d become

The years I hid my tears and kept a lid on my right to real happiness and boldness

Once I asked if you could explain why loving you caused me such pain

But you had no reply except to try and shift the blame and stake yet another claim

On my body, mind and soul that you seem to feel the need to control

Yes, it took me way too long to learn that real love doesn’t hurt

And that a real man would never treat the woman he loves like dirt

But lessons well-learnt don’t need repeating: women are for loving and not beating

Remember that when you fall in love with someone new the next time

Because the last time you knocked me around was the last time.

5 members like this

Comment by Richard Castellari on October 11, 2011 at 22:04: Hey Jewel,

Such a strong poem. Liberating for the stand and poignant for the past. I think this would sound great at one of the slams.

cheers

Rich

Comment by Dermott Ryder on November 16, 2011 at 16:58: Dear Jewel Rainbow

I found this work, illuminating, disturbing and courageous in its expression. If it is from personal experience I must applaud your willingness to set your thoughts into print and into the public domain. If you have drawn this from the experiences of another then I will conclude that the person subjected to such cruel treatment must be very close to you.

Please dismiss the criticisms of David Wakeling, if that is indeed his name. Consider - how can one possibly respect the opinions of a person who hides behind an anonymous ‘blue avatar’ to post acerbic criticism?

His only comments so far on Poetry Sydney have been crude, rude and offensive. His unrestrained and inappropriate responses to 'ON MEETING THE AUSTRALIAN POETIC GIANT-PETER SKRZYNECKI' contained the words: ‘rubbish’, ‘wog’ and ‘liar’. His is a destructive rather than a creative vocabulary.

His somewhat fragmented comments on your work – ‘Is this for real? You actually give advice to the mongrel who beat you. Do you really think a dog like that will read this? This is Fairyland. Sadly a grab for sympathy that failed’. – are equally inappropriate, and are certainly insensitive.

His comments on Slam Poets were also a very negative response. He wrote: ‘I couldn't understand one word. Actually I have a dog that speaks clearer english than this’. What can one say? Is the dog aware that English is usually accorded a capital ‘E', or as I used to say to my younger students, a big letter?

His conduct, language and terminal negativity begs the questions: What are his motives? Why is he following this unpleasant course of action? Is his name really David Wakeling, if so why does he not upload a recognizable photo so that when we meet him in the pub we can shout him a beer?

Finally, Jewel Rainbow, keep on writing. You are a far more rewarding read than the anonymous David Wakeling will ever be.

Regards

Dermott Ryder

Comment by POETRY BY KDW on November 16, 2011 at 22:10: Firstly I want to say to Dermott you are Hilarious it was s funny to read about what you think of David Wakeling, well done. I totally agree with you. Secondly Jewel Rainbow, what a fabulous piece of writing. I was actually picturing you reading it out in front of a pack audience. I had visions of you holding the poem in one hand whilst slamming your fist down on the lectern in the other. I hope you can use this poem to inspire other women to escape domestic violence. I can never understand men who beat women, never. keep writing, well done and very enjoyable to read