What happened to the twenty year old, slim trim and carefree

Who is this person standing in the mirror, staring back at me?

I am only forty, for Christ’s sake, but this body I do not recognize

How much I have changed in twenty years, I am nearly twice the size.

Where he once proudly displayed a six pack, he now carries a keg

While she once wore the shortest skirts, now she will not even shave her legs.

His tattoos that showed off every muscle, now looks likes mushy peas

Her breasts that once were firm and high now sag down to her knees.

His hair that once was thick and black, has turned to silver grey

All the size ten clothes she loved to wear she has long since given away.

The size thirty two jeans he used to wear now fits his eldest son

And she hates to shop for underwear because she is self-conscious of her bum.

Starting from now, I am going to change; I will put up a fight

Going to cut down on the booze and cigarettes, going to start that diet

I will start tomorrow make no mistake, as I sit down in the chair

Now there was something else on my mind, oh yes, my chocolate éclair.