They laugh at me because I do not bathe,

cackling at my tattered robe

The Athenians are quick to judge

and smother themselves in gossip

They cannot stand my repulsive breath

Yes! I love to munch on raw onions,

but when you dwell deep enough,

my words are sweeter than honey

Undeterred, through the Agora,

carrying a lantern, under the blazing sun,

squinting hard as I look ahead

I’m searching for an honest man

I saw a child at the fountain

lapping water from his palms

and I hurled my drinking bowl away

in disgust,

smashing it into worthless pieces

When I place my hands out to beg,

the refined citizens spit at my face!

And like a fisherman, kissed by the sea,

I also need to get wet, to earn my keep

I have been sold into slavery

And live in a terracotta tub, 

with no possessions to my name

I am the master of all men,

I have embarrassed Plato many a time

Interrupting his lectures, debunking his fraud

He fears the very mention of my name

He says I live like a stray dog

But I do not bite my enemies, only my friends!

Diogenes of Sinope