Somnolence

 

…she heard a late night

 train in the distance…

a faint rattle-clack-rattle-clack

that brought back hazy memories

of a faded time…

 

suburbia flashing past

behind panes

of cloudy glass…

sooty trees

and the litter

of humanity…

 

within the

rattle-clack-rattle-clack

as the train trundled

along the track

soft murmurs

mostly silence…

strangers thrown together

in close proximity

… thrown together

by convenience

of public transport…

convenience?... yes well

that's another story…

 

avoid eye contact

…at all cost

invasions of privacy

peeping into the windows

of strangers’ souls…

their returning stare

inevitably cold…

 

…she gazes instead

through opaque glass

as the trappings of suburbia

gave way

to grimy factories…

workers start their day

lines of ants marching

orderly… clock on…clock off

into the bowels of buildings

that stole their sunshine

stole their life

sucked them dry

so someone…somewhere

could buy

the trappings of  humanity

next week’s trash in the making…

is this life

or merely an accepted somnolence

from which there is

no waking…

sharonlee©

9-Feb-11

 

 

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Yeah, that's good. And it's right up my alley, both in writing and proferred reading. An excellent social comment, and moral questioning. Love your work.
one critical comment (just to show you I'm being honest) is you're missing an ' 's ' on 'that' in the 24th line.

Thank you for the encouragement and honesty... I write in a wide variety of styles... usually whatever suits my mood at the time inspiration strikes... but do not do so well with structured formulas such as sonnets ect.

Since we are only permitted to post one a day I will do my best to alternate social/moral motivated ones with flowing reflection driven ones...

 

... thank you again.

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