A social site for poets in Sydney.
I Hear Me Despite The wind
I hear my thoughts
tumble in slow motion chaos
I hear my spirit crumble
under the weight of unanswered questions
questions that topple
like a deck of cards in the wind...
I hear my heart beating
even thou' you hear it not
and hear my secret memories
those I haven't yet forgot...
I hear my voice echo
in thoughts I haven't said
and my melancholy soul sing with
every song heard and every poem read...
I hear the laughter of children
the first sweet cry of a new born babe
an ancient age-old whisper
in the breeze as it kisses goodbye to the day...
I hear perpetual hunger
and the lost call for help
I hear reverberations of every feeling
this world's ever felt...
the vibrations of pent up energy
resonating deep within
I hear me
despite the wind;
pretty good. There are no lines that stick out and demand your attention, and because of that the poem works on a whole. and I think that's really great that you get to the end of the poem and you have time to dwell on it without the distraction of any lyrical or picaresque lines. I was going to quote something by a poet that would have summed your poem pefectly but now I've forgotten it. if i remember I'll come back and post it.
read it again, and liked it a little more.
I think that poetry, in some instances should flow to the end without distraction... leaving the reader free to contemplate.... I would like read that quote should you recall it.
Thank you for your thoughts...
Yes I agree, it flows really well. And for me, its all about the content - and I really like what it says. I felt it. And it whittles down to a simple, but beautiful conclusion.
Great title too. It would make an excellent title for a book.
You know, it would make a great title for a book... I've been pondering what to call a poetry book if I ever did have the chance to publish...
I like that suggestion...thank you...
... and thank you for leaving a response... I'm new and still finding my way around....
Youre welcome Sharon. Go crazy with that title..it's a goodun!
And i've only been here a couple of weeks myself.